Old Life = Odd

We have been spending the last couple of days down in our new area to live. We still have to wait until tomorrow to get the keys to our new place, so we have been camping all weekend!!.It has been a blast!!.great to hang out with the SAYER clan!!.always is!

Well, finally to the point! I was around all of the same people I grew up with and even hung out with as a single! person. This was the first time that I went to this town for an extended period of time since I was married in March! All the things that I used to miss, including ’single people’s banter’, just seems so rediculous now that I had to laugh!

My wife and I looked around and found that we were the only married couple around! This would be fine, if our friends would just realize that we are not into talking about “who would we like to fuck’ and “did you look at the tits on that girl’! It seems like a joke now!!.

The friends are still great to hang out with, but things have changed since I was married!!!!just in a good way!!..thank god! I didn’t realize how different and sometimes pathetic, single life can be!

People who tell you that single life is the only way and married people suck, are still running for “prom queen or king’! It doesn’t matter if they are 18 or 45!!..they still want to win the popularity contest and being married just isn’t COOL to them!!..that is fine with me!

A special thanks to all the people who do not take this train of thought! Why is “being married’ such a bad thing to some people? Frankly, I don’t care if it is because they were not given enough attention as a child or maybe they had their heart broken because they were the “fat kid’ in high school. Save the bullshit for someone else!!.we are all stocked up here!

Suicide - Bobby Gaylor

This song has been out for quite some time, but I am always shocked when I hear people tell me that they have not heard it! I wanted to post the lyrics of this song because they are so POWERFUL! If you intend to read this post, please read the entire thing or else you will not get it..

The song came out of an encounter with a severely depressed friend. The friend came for help, and Gaylor felt incapable of offering any.

I sat there trying not to sound like a broken record ’cause it’s like, “Man if I shut up, he’ll jump out the window.’ On the other hand, you’re worried you’re gonna say the wrong thing. What if I say, “Think about your parents!’ and it turns out his father did something to him when he was younger and that’s part of the problem.

!The next day I’m thinking, “I should be able to write something to make him feel better.’ I thought I’d write a story or poem and call it Suicide. It wasn’t of direct use to him, ’cause he’d already survived the night. But it’s been on his refrigerator for over two years and it’s all brown and curled over. SOURCE

So without further delay¦.let me post the lyrics for you!

SUICIDE

By Bobby Gaylor 1999

Animals don’t have a choice.
If they’re not happy with their place in the world… too bad.
They have to live the life they’ve been given.
Humans, on the other hand, don’t have to.
We have a choice.
If you don’t like your place in the world, you can get off anytime you want.
Suicide. That’s right.
You don’t like the way your life’s going,
you don’t like the way you are in the world,
anything around you, you can check out anytime you like.
Animals aren’t allowed that thought
and believe me, if they were, they would use it.
There’d be a lot of dogs and cats, owned by assholes
that live in high-rises, diving out the windows.
Zebras… if they even had remotely that thought
would take a look at themselves and go, “What the F*#K!”
Black & white in a green & brown world… this blows.
I’m just gonna jump in the river….

I don’t have a thumb to work a gun or hold a knife
or even open a jar of pills.
I’m just gonna dive into the next lion’s mouth.
Why even bother?”
Now, monkeys have the opposable thumb
so they could kinda do it the exact same way we do.
Now, there’s a bunch of people that say,
“Oh, it’s against the law”.
Well, it’s only against the law if you do a crappy job and get caught.
Other people say, “Oh, we should save them”.
Yeah, well you know what?
Not everybody wants to be saved.
Not everybody should be saved.
And who are we to force our will upon them?
I mean, isn’t that one of the joys about being a human?
Freedom of choice?
Now, it’s not all bad.
Now, I’m not saying “Kill yourself”.
But if you’re gonna be an idiot and do it anyway,
it’s no sweat off of my back.
There’s a lot of good that could come from it.
A little bit of bad thrown in.

Some of the things:
A job will open…
An apartment will become available…
There’ll be more air for me…
They say there’s two girls for every guy - if you’re a man, there’ll be four chicks for me…
There’ll be more Ketel One vodka for me…
There’ll be one less idiot in line at the bank who gets up to the window without their F*#King slips filled out…
I won’t ever have to go to the store to buy my favorite Salt & Vinegar Chips
and have the clerk point at you and say, “They bought the last bag”….
You won’t help change the McDonald’s sign to a Hundred Billion Served…
You’ll never get AIDS…
You won’t have to worry about calories ever…
No more, “Hey, does this make me look fat?”…
There’ll be one less polluting human…
You won’t have to recycle… There’ll be one less car on the road…
There’ll be more Ring Dings for me…
Fifty or so chickens’ lives will be spared…
Your fingers won’t ever get red from eating pistachios…
You won’t be forced to visit your Grandparents on Sundays anymore…
No more church…
You’ll be saying, “Hey, World - Kiss My Ass!”…
No more wet dreams about Supermodels…
No more Barry Manilow… Not for a few years anyway…
Wondering “Am I a loser?” will be a thing of the past…
Say good-bye to crappy Xmas presents from Aunts and Uncles…
You won’t have to suffer through a Motley Crue reunion…
F*#K flossing and brushing…
You’ll never lose sleep over a pregnancy scare…
Adios, Acne…
Worrying whether you fit in or not won’t be on your brain…
See ya later, homework…
You’ll never have to sit through another movie brought to you by the creators of South Park…
School’s out forever….
No more paying bills…
You won’t have to do chores…

You won’t be able to run over toads with the lawnmower though…
You’ll also miss McDonald’s French Fries…
Bugs Bunny…
The amazing electrifying feeling that surges through your body when you kiss someone for the first time…
You won’t be able to watch the letterbox director’s cut of Jaws…
Candy…
Living above ground…
Pudding crust…
You’ll miss the rush of getting your first apartment…
Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to
“F*#K Off! I gotta make my own mistakes, you did”…
You’ll miss sex - you’ll miss thinking about it, looking for it,
sex by yourself, sex with a partner, sex with multiple partners…
No more summer nights that seem to go on forever… Roller coasters….
Naming your kid the name you always wanted…
Making a difference in the world…
You’ll miss the experience and pleasure of Hallucinogenics…
Watching your neighbor’s wife change clothes with her blinds open…
A lifetime of masturbating…
Watching your favorite team sweep the series…
Music, you will definitely miss music…
Trying to sneak into your house drunk - three hours past your curfew…
You’ll miss the blaze and glory of the 4th of July fireworks…
The taste of Captain Crunch…
If you’re a boy, you’ll miss the feeling the first time you reach up a girl’s shirt…
If you’re a girl, the feeling the first time you reach down a boy’s pants…
You’ll miss your favorite coat…
Waffles with whipped cream and strawberries…
Beating your friends at video games…
You won’t be around to see what shape and color the new marshmallow in Lucky Charms will be…
You’ll miss the feeling you get when reminiscing about your first love - thirty years after the fact…
The joy of giving and receiving at Christmas…
Skinny dipping…
Getting stoned, reading Green Eggs & Ham, and eating like a horse that got loose in the grain bin…
Flying cars…

Hey, you were born, finish what you started!

Bobby Gaylor - 1999 Angelic Monkey Music/DreamWorksSongs (ASCAP) All Rights Reserved

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

What the hell!!..might as well post this one as well!

Baz Luhrmann - Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ‘99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked.You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary’what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

What the hell!!..might as well post this one as well!

Baz Luhrmann - Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ‘99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked.You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary’what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen

I’ve Learned?

I recieved this in an email from my sister today and thought that it was just beautiful! There is wisdom in here that should be taken into everyday life!!.

Andy Rooney - I’ve Learned?!

I’ve learned?
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned?
That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned?
That just one person saying to me, You’ve made my day!! makes my day.

I’ve learned?
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful
feelings in the world.

I’ve learned?
That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned?
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned?
That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help
him in some other way.

I’ve learned?
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a
friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned?
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to
understand.

I’ve learned?
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I
was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned?
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end,
the faster it goes.

I’ve learned?
That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned?
That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned?
That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned?
That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and
loved.

I’ve learned?
That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I’ve learned?
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned?
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that
person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned?
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned?
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with
people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned?
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned?
That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling
their breath on your cheeks.

I’ve learned?
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned?
That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned?
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned?
That when you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned?
That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before
he passed away.

I’ve learned?
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he
may have to eat them.

I’ve learned?
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned?
That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I’ve learned?
That when your newly born grandchild holds your finger in his little fist,
that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned?
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness
and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned?
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is
requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I’ve learned?
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

!“Andy Rooney

I’ve Learned?

I recieved this in an email from my sister today and thought that it was just beautiful! There is wisdom in here that should be taken into everyday life!!.

Andy Rooney - I’ve Learned?!

I’ve learned?
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned?
That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned?
That just one person saying to me, You’ve made my day!! makes my day.

I’ve learned?
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful
feelings in the world.

I’ve learned?
That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned?
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned?
That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help
him in some other way.

I’ve learned?
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a
friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned?
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to
understand.

I’ve learned?
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I
was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned?
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end,
the faster it goes.

I’ve learned?
That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned?
That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned?
That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned?
That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and
loved.

I’ve learned?
That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I’ve learned?
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned?
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that
person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned?
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned?
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with
people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned?
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned?
That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling
their breath on your cheeks.

I’ve learned?
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned?
That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned?
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned?
That when you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned?
That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before
he passed away.

I’ve learned?
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he
may have to eat them.

I’ve learned?
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned?
That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I’ve learned?
That when your newly born grandchild holds your finger in his little fist,
that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned?
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness
and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned?
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is
requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I’ve learned?
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

!“Andy Rooney

Next Page »